I used to say I don’t believe in second chances. In every relationship I am into, if it’s over then it’s the end. I thought that attitude applies in everything but I was wrong. Once I decide to turn my back, no matter how painful the circumstances and how stupid may I look to everyone I still stand firm in my decisions. I admit I linger too much on the negativity before I could appreciate the positive side. Perhaps, it’s my way of putting an imaginary wall against pain that I might encounter and my defense against betrayal but as I looked back, I realized, the more preparation I put order in my head when the situation get worst I still felt the unmeasured pain. WHY? The answer is that while I am busy contemplating on the bad effect, the other side of my mind is visualizing the need to be done for the goodness of certain situation. So, unconsciously I am too attached on the matter. For not believing in second chance, I give everything in the first try. At the end, I’m like a dead-man walking. Nowhere to find a safe haven and nothing can calm my spirit from tearing apart. I’m just hanging in the cliff, waiting for my own dilemma to kill me.
That pattern speaks louder, my behavior become extent and maybe I am really a hardheaded person. As I re-examined my life, one thing that I realized I’m not a fan of second chances because of my nature of being a perfectionist. In my mind I created a universe in which mistake was not an option. I hate to fail not knowing that failure makes me more independent and will justify who I really am. The power of second chance is enormous. It’s easy to say I can re-start my life but without “CHANGE’’ there will be no other chance. Personally, until now it’s still a mystery how I managed to flip the coin, how I embraced the life I have now and I will be very honest, I still can’t fathom how a simple encouragement can change everything. From simple words of acceptance and appreciation, my fears and worries evaporated.
Second chance is also a statement that I am so blessed. I am blessed for having given the opportunity to re-write my life, blessed for having to experience the unbreakable love of my family, and blessed for having to feel the power of Divine Intervention.
That pattern speaks louder, my behavior become extent and maybe I am really a hardheaded person. As I re-examined my life, one thing that I realized I’m not a fan of second chances because of my nature of being a perfectionist. In my mind I created a universe in which mistake was not an option. I hate to fail not knowing that failure makes me more independent and will justify who I really am. The power of second chance is enormous. It’s easy to say I can re-start my life but without “CHANGE’’ there will be no other chance. Personally, until now it’s still a mystery how I managed to flip the coin, how I embraced the life I have now and I will be very honest, I still can’t fathom how a simple encouragement can change everything. From simple words of acceptance and appreciation, my fears and worries evaporated.
Second chance is also a statement that I am so blessed. I am blessed for having given the opportunity to re-write my life, blessed for having to experience the unbreakable love of my family, and blessed for having to feel the power of Divine Intervention.
► About the Author:
Bhing is an OFW, as Caregiver based in Taiwan. A Top 7 Blog Winner of PEBA 2010 on her official entry entitled "Pagsasalamin sa Salitang Pamilya". She writes poems and poetries via her blog Gumamela sa Paraiso. She is now the new Editor-in-Chief and regular columnist for TKJ.
► Read Bhing's previous articles here.
Bhing is an OFW, as Caregiver based in Taiwan. A Top 7 Blog Winner of PEBA 2010 on her official entry entitled "Pagsasalamin sa Salitang Pamilya". She writes poems and poetries via her blog Gumamela sa Paraiso. She is now the new Editor-in-Chief and regular columnist for TKJ.
► Read Bhing's previous articles here.
0 Reactions:
Post a Comment